Redefining black Fatherhood: Combating Stereotypes in Media + Empowering Fathers for Positive Mental Health

As Black fathers, we are often portrayed through narrow, damaging stereotypes in media — either as absentee fathers, hyper-aggressive figures, or emotionally detached providers. But our realities are /far/ more complex.

The births of my daughters changed me in ways I could never have anticipated. Fatherhood was /never/ just about providing. For most of us, it's been about presence, love, sacrifice, mental strength, and breaking cycles of dysfunction.

Exploring how we can combat these media stereotypes, empower fathers to resist the projections, + embrace mental health as a strength rather than a weakness is an ongoing conversation that I was honored to be a part of with Life After Abuse Foundation out of Victoria Island, Lagos State.

Gargantuan nods to the incomparable Halima Layeni, Founder & Executive Director at LAAF, her team, + every speaker from the panel. Let's continue this global conversation. Mold Breaking

Fatherhood was never just about providing; it was about presence. The birth of my daughters changed me in ways I could never have anticipated. But during those early sleepless nights, I also saw how society had conditioned me to think that men must simply ‘tough it out’ without acknowledging our struggles. When I battled stress-induced diabetes, anxiety, and depression, I had to challenge those ingrained notions. If I wanted to be the best father for my six daughters, I had to prioritize my mental health. And in doing so, I had to redefine fatherhood for myself and for the next generation.

Media and the Stereotype of Black Fatherhood

The media has long perpetuated harmful narratives about Black fatherhood. From the “deadbeat dad” trope to hyper-masculinized portrayals, these images do real harm. Studies show that Black fathers are actually among the most involved parents in their children’s lives, despite societal misconceptions.* According to the CDC, Black fathers who live with their children are more likely to engage in daily caretaking activities, such as reading and meal preparation, compared to fathers of other racial backgrounds.*

Yet, mainstream narratives do not reflect this truth. This disconnect leads to internalized guilt, frustration, and a sense of inadequacy in many Black men. When we constantly see our images distorted, it affects our self-worth and our approach to fatherhood.

The Mental Health Crisis Among Black Fathers

Black men are disproportionately affected by mental health struggles, yet we are least likely to seek help. The suicide rate among Black men has risen dramatically in recent years, with Black men being four times more likely to die by suicide than Black women.* The reluctance to seek therapy is not just cultural—it’s systemic. Many of us were raised with the idea that seeking help is a sign of weakness. But this mindset has cost us dearly.

I remember when I first experienced anxiety attacks. I ignored the symptoms, pushing through because I thought I had no other choice. It wasn’t until I started prioritizing my mental well-being—through therapy, journaling, and spiritual grounding—that I realized true strength lies in self-awareness, not avoidance.

Empowering Fathers: Steps Toward Mental Wellness

So how do we redefine fatherhood in a way that prioritizes both presence and mental well-being? Here are a few key steps:

1. Normalize Therapy and Emotional Expression – We must dismantle the stigma surrounding therapy in our communities. Therapy should not be a last resort but a tool for self-maintenance.

   • Solution: Advocate for community-based mental health programs designed specifically for Black men.

2. Create Safe Spaces for Vulnerability – Too often, Black men feel they must carry their burdens alone. But healing happens in the community.

   • Solution: Join or create fatherhood groups where open dialogue about mental health is encouraged.

3. Challenge Media Representations – Speak out against harmful stereotypes and uplift real stories of Black fatherhood.

   • Solution: Support media projects that portray Black fathers in a positive light.

4. Prioritize Self-Care and Physical Health – Mental and physical health are interconnected. Managing stress through exercise, meditation, and a proper diet is essential.

   • Solution: Take time for self-care without guilt. A healthier father is a better father.

Legacy

As fathers, we are setting the blueprint for future generations. The work we do today—challenging stereotypes, seeking mental wellness, and showing up more whole every minute—ensures that our children inherit a different narrative. We are not broken; we are evolving amidst an avalanche of unfortunate circumstances. And in that evolution, we redefine fatherhood—not just for ourselves, but for every father who comes after us.

peace + love